You have finally found your dream job, and you are doing your best you can to prove that you deserve your post, you appreciate your colleagues …but unfortunately your BOSS is insupportable!
He might be just a hostile and bitter with you and no matter how much enthusiasm and efforts your trying to bring in, you are just unable to have the positive and supportive employee- supervisor relationship, you have always dreamed of.
If this is your case, don’t panic and just know that you are not alone in this situation.
Many employees have butt-headed with their bosses and have even thought of quitting their jobs.
But before choosing this last solution here are some advices and steps you can take in order to ameliorate the relationship or at least smooth it enough to make your day to day working life bearable.
- Evaluate the situation.
Be frank with yourself and try to define your part of responsibility in this unhealthy situation. Does your boss treat you only this way or is he the same with everybody else? Is he known for his bad working behavior in general or is he making you only his scapegoat? Try to answer all these questions in honesty and determine your own potential of culpability in this situation.
If you find yourself somehow guilty, try to address the situation and take further steps to approach him, ignoring it will only make things got worse.
- Be tactful and thoughtful.
Try to be opened and honest with your boss, and have a direct dialogue with him about the way you feel, and the best way to address things. But beforehand, think carefully about the situation, your approach, arguments and speech …Get prepared before you speak.
Choosing the wrong time and saying inappropriate things will only rise tensions and make things go much worse than they already are. So, pick the right time and choose carefully your words. You can also document your interactions with your boss to prevent bad surprises.
The key tip here is to stay results focused, you can evocate the behavioral issues as something that is blocking you to attain you full potential to get better performance, it is much better than attacking directly their personality.
- Practice empathy.
Try to put yourself into your boss shoes! Try to understand what is he going through either professionally or personally, assessing correctly the situation may help you know why he is treating his employees in a certain way.
Is he always stressed about delivery date and deadlines? Do they have to deal with difficult bosses themselves? If you succeed at doing this, you might even get the chance to ask your boss to open up about what they are going through.
Placing yourself into their position and having empathy can help you understand the situation and be more comprehensive about their behavior.
- Don not kick down the ladder.
Don’t cut your ties with your boss or manager, you never know when you might need this person as a reference.
Many employers tend to ask their candidate if they can contact your direct supervisor from your early jobs, and responding negatively with “no” will only makes them ask unwanted question, putting you in a difficult situation.
No matter what will happen, don’t let the circumstances make you ruin your professional reputation.
Even if things go bad, don’t be bitter and act rudely.
- Vent your frustrations to a trusted person not to your colleagues.
Dealing with a difficult boss on a daily basis might be a very difficult and consuming test.
Thus, opening up to a trusted friend or a family member can be the right thing to do. This will not only help you get things out of your chest; it will help you also get rid of your stress, frustration and even give the chance to get to see different perspectives about the situation going on.
The only thing that matters is that you have to ask someone in whom you can trust and totally open up, someone your respect. The last thing you want to do is venting your anger and frustration to your colleagues!
- Try to get transferred to another team or department.
If your work for a big company that have other departments, look into whether there is a chance to work in a team that is not supervised by your current boss.
This a good way to have a new start, with a new boss without having to leave the company or to pass through the awkward conversation with the HR manager questioning you about your boss’s behavior.
You will have the chance to keep your beloved job without having to deal with your bitter boss.
- Be ready to move on.
If the whole previous tips and steps doesn’t lead you anywhere and you still feel miserable, then it is time to pack your things and make your newt move.
It is clear that employees that have strong, supportive and healthy relationship wit their bosses are more productive at work and more loyal to the company.
So, depending on how much difficult, is your relationship with your boss, this situation might not only be unbearable professionally, but it may also be damaging your mental and physical health by causing you stress, depression, insomnia …
Basically, you are the only person that knows better how you want to proceed regarding this case. Have a heart to heart chit chat and ask yourself some questions:
Is the stress, tension and problems that you are enduring worth keeping this job? Isn’t your mental and physical breakdown starting to affect your work performance?
Answer honestly and objectively those questions and take your time before making any hurried decisions.
Just know that no one for what ever reason deserve to be mistreated at work and if you have to move on, you still have many opportunities in better places, with great, supportive and positive bosses.
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